Do you ever find yourself in situations where you feel anxious, even though nothing is actually happening?
Do you have the sense that your body reacts with stress before you’ve had a chance to think anything at all?
Or perhaps you sometimes “switch off” emotionally, disappear from relationships, withdraw from contact – even when you don’t want to?
This is not weakness. It is your nervous system trying to protect you.
This is what polyvagal theory, developed by the American scientist Dr Stephen Porges, is about.
What is polyvagal theory?
Polyvagal theory is a modern neurophysiological concept that explains how our body responds to stress and safety, and how these responses affect our behaviour, emotions and relationships.
According to this theory, our autonomic nervous system works not only automatically, but also intelligently and emotionally – in other words, it scans the environment for signals of danger or safety and adjusts our responses before we even become aware of them.
This inner process is called neuroception – the nervous system’s unconscious “reading” of a situation. Its purpose is to protect our body.
A few words about the creator of the theory – Dr Stephen Porges
Stephen W. Porges is an eminent American neurophysiologist and professor of psychiatry. He has written numerous scientific publications, and in the 1990s he introduced a new way of thinking about the autonomic nervous system.
Instead of seeing it simply as a balance between the sympathetic system (fight/flight) and the parasympathetic system (rest), Porges noticed that the vagus nerve – the longest cranial nerve – has two distinct parts, responsible for completely different bodily responses.
These are the foundation of the three main modes of human functioning described by polyvagal theory.
The three states of the autonomic nervous system according to Porges
1. Fight or flight mode (sympathetic)
When our brain perceives the environment as life-threatening, the sympathetic system switches on. This shows up as faster breathing, a quicker heartbeat and muscle tension.
You may feel agitated, uneasy, irritable. There is also a high chance of difficulty concentrating or falling asleep.
2. Freeze and withdrawal mode (the older part of the vagus nerve)
If the threat seems impossible to overcome, the body goes into freeze mode – disconnecting from the body, both physically and emotionally.
This can look like: emptiness, numbness, depression, a lack of energy or difficulty making contact with others.
It is a biological survival strategy – your body is doing everything it can to get through the storm you are living through right now.
3. Social engagement mode (the newer part of the vagus nerve)
This is the state in which you feel safe and calm. Openness to relationships appears. Your face relaxes, your breathing settles and your voice becomes softer.
This state is essential for building bonds, talking, connecting with empathy, being able to learn and showing creativity.
The biggest difficulty is that many people spend most of their time in alarm or freeze mode, because their nervous system has learnt that the world is not safe.
What affects which mode you are in?
Various factors influence which mode we function in. The most common are:
- Childhood experiences – for example, the lack of a stable relationship with a caregiver can make the body “choose” freeze or vigilance more often.
- Past trauma – both one-off and long-lasting difficult experiences.
- Lifestyle – chronic stress, lack of sleep, exhaustion, lack of social contact.
- Signals from the environment – noise, the pace of life, tension in relationships.
How does polyvagal theory help in therapy?
Thanks to Porges’s theory, more and more people are realising that:
- behaviours such as avoidance, withdrawal, irritability and anxiety are not personality traits but nervous system responses,
- effective help begins with rebuilding a sense of safety,
- regulating the nervous system is the key to emotional and psychological change,
- body and mind are closely connected.
In therapeutic practice this means, among other things:
- work focused on breathing, movement and body awareness,
- attentiveness to the signals coming from the body,
- slowly restoring trust – in yourself, in others, in the world.
If:
- you often feel that you are living in tension for no rational reason,
- you find it hard to rest or to be close to others,
- you feel somehow disconnected from yourself and others,
- you can’t make sense of your emotional reactions,
- you have experienced trauma or a difficult childhood
It is very possible that your nervous system is functioning in protection mode instead of living.
Understanding what is happening is the first step.
A therapist’s help is the second.
You can learn to regulate your nervous system
It really is possible – no matter how old you are or what you have been through.
The nervous system is plastic, which means that it can learn, change and return to balance.
You can start truly living. You don’t have to just get by.
How can I help you with this?
In my practice:
- I work with an approach based on understanding the nervous system,
- I help with regulating emotions, reconnecting with the body and building safety,
- I support people with experiences of trauma, chronic stress, burnout and anxiety,
- I combine psychotherapy with elements of body-based work (if there is a need and readiness for it).
If you feel your body is calling for attention – answer it.
You can write or call to book a first session.
You don’t need to know everything. You don’t need to have “serious problems”.
It is enough that you want to take care of yourself.
Your body is not working against you. It is protecting you all the time. Therapy helps teach it that it is safe now and that you can start living.